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My Mum is in Debt how can I Help? 

Scott Nelson Profile Picture Janine Marsh Profile Picture
By
Scott
Scott Nelson Profile Picture

Scott Nelson

Managing Director

MoneyNerd’s founder, Scott Nelson, has a decade of financial industry experience, including 6 years in FCA regulated loan and credit card companies. Troubled by a lack of conscience in the industry, he founded MoneyNerd to give genuine advice to those in debt and struggling financially.

Learn more about Scott
&
Janine
Janine Marsh Profile Picture

Janine Marsh

Financial Expert

Janine Marsh is an award-winning presenter and a valuable member of the MoneyNerd team. With a wealth of experience as a financial expert, she's been featured on BBC Radio 4, BBC Local Radio, and BBC Five Live, and is a regular on Co-op Radio.

Learn more about Janine
· Feb 23rd, 2024
Could you legally write off some debt? Answer below to get started.

Total amount of debt?

For free & impartial money advice you can visit MoneyHelper. We work with The Debt Advice Service who provide information about your options. This isn’t a full fact-find, some debt solutions may not be suitable in all circumstances, ongoing fees might apply & your credit rating may be affected.

For free & impartial money advice you can visit MoneyHelper. We work with The Debt Advice Service who provide information about your options. This isn’t a full fact-find, some debt solutions may not be suitable in all circumstances, ongoing fees might apply & your credit rating may be affected.

Featured in...
Mum in Debt how can I Help

For free & impartial money advice you can visit MoneyHelper. We work with The Debt Advice Service who provide information about your options. This isn’t a full fact-find, some debt solutions may not be suitable in all circumstances, ongoing fees might apply & your credit rating may be affected.

If you’re worried about your mum being in debt and want to know how you can help, you’re in the right place. This is a common concern, and we’re here to guide you through it.

Every month, over 170,000 people come to our website for advice on debt matters, so remember, you’re not alone.

In this article, we’ll show you:

  • How to spot if your mum has a debt problem.
  • The best way to talk to her about it.
  • How to seek professional advice.
  • Ways to manage or even reduce her debt.
  • Whether you could be asked to pay her debt.

We understand this is a difficult time, as many of us have been in a similar spot, worried about a loved one’s debt. We know it’s tough, but we’re here to help.

Let’s dive in and explore how to support your mum in her time of financial need.

Could you legally write off some debt?

There are several debt solutions in the UK, choosing the right one for you could write off some of your unaffordable debt, but the wrong one may be expensive and drawn out.

Answer below to get started.

How much debt do you have?

This isn’t a full fact find. MoneyNerd doesn’t give advice. We work with The Debt Advice Service who provide information about your options.

How do I tell if my mum has a debt problem?

It is not easy to know whether someone has a debt problem, even if they are a close family member like your mum. However, there are some red flags you can look out for. If you notice a combination of the below, it might be a sign that your mum has a debt she is struggling to repay:

  1. Your mum sold an asset without good reason. For example, she sold her car and started using the bus. 
  2. Your mum’s mood frequently changes after receiving a phone call or a text message
  3. Your mum is acting withdrawn, anxious or even depressed
  4. Your mum is arguing more than usual with your dad or even yourself
  5. You notice lots of unopened letters around your mum’s house
  6. Your mum is noticeably spending less when you go to social occasions with her

The above may indicate a money problem, but the only way to know for sure is if she tells you. 

Can you be forced to pay your parent’s debt?

You can never be forced to pay your parent’s debt. You are only obligated to pay debts that you have agreed to such as personal or joint loans and credit cards.

If a parent was to pass away with unpaid debts, the debt will not pass on to you. The debt may need to be repaid upon death, but the money will be taken from their estate if possible. This might mean you receive less inheritance if applicable. 

Should I pay for my parent’s debt?

You might decide to pay your parent’s debt off in full. This is a personal decision but you should not risk your own financial security to do so. StepChange states that many of their clients are in debt because they tried to help other people with their finances and never got repaid. 

Moreover, it may only be worthwhile if you plan to pay all of their debt off. There are debt solutions that may prove to be more advantageous than making a partial repayment, such as a Debt Management Plan or Debt Relief Order

» TAKE ACTION NOW: Fill out the short debt form

How to ask my mum if she has a money problem

If you have decided to ask your mum if she has a debt problem, there is a way to make the experience more comfortable for both of you. First of all, find a place where you can talk privately, such as at a property rather than a public space where people may overhear the conversation. 

You should start by telling your mum if there is anything a matter and why you suspect there may be a problem. This is less threatening than directly asking your mum if she has debts and money problems. It also gives her a chance to explain without being put on the spot. If she is reluctant to answer or give information, you could then gently ask if she is having money worries. 

You should avoid trying to read your mum’s mail or going through her call history to find out what’s going on. You might get the answer to what’s going on, but you could lose your mum’s trust and an opportunity to be helpful in dealing with the debt. 

How a debt solution could help

Some debt solutions can:

  1. Stop nasty calls from creditors
  2. Freeze interest and charges
  3. Reduce your monthly payments

A few debt solutions can even result in writing off some of your debt.

Here’s an example:


Situation

Monthly income £2,504
Monthly expenses £2,345
Total debt £32,049

Monthly debt repayments

Before £587
After £158

£429 reduction in monthly payments

If you want to learn what debt solutions are available to you, click the button below to get started.

Get Started

How do I get my mom out of debt?

We have provided three steps you can take to help your mum get out of debt without having to put your hand in your own pocket: 

#1: Be there for her

Debt and mental health issues are a vicious cycle. Either can cause the other, with the Royal College of Psychiatrists stating that 50% of people in debt have mental health problems and 25% of people with mental health issues have a debt problem. 

For this reason and others, it is important that you are supportive of your mum after she tells you about her money worries. Don’t judge her and try to be encouraging and positive about what the future holds. Tell her that there are lots of ways to get out of debt without causing financial hardship, which you can explore together. 

#2: Help her manage her finances better

Start your journey together by creating a monthly budget tracker. This can be used to find ways to save money and make repayments more affordable, but it also comes in handy when getting free debt advice – which is the next important step. 

#3: Contact a debt charity together

Call a debt charity together to ask for free debt advice. The adviser will use your personal situation and monthly budget to recommend the most advantageous debt solution, which will make repayments more affordable and may even write off some of your mother’s debt. You could even call on your mother’s behalf if needed, but she will need to agree to any debt solutions

Thousands have already tackled their debt

Every day our partners, The Debt Advice Service, help people find out whether they can lower their repayments and finally tackle or write off some of their debt.

Natasha

I’d recommend this firm to anyone struggling with debt – my mind has been put to rest, all is getting sorted.

Get started

Reviews shown are for The Debt Advice Service.

How can I help my mother financially?

You can help your mother with her finances by helping her create a monthly budget or by finding ways to reduce her expenses, such as using comparison websites to find cheaper energy suppliers. One of the best websites to do the latter is USwitch. 

Read about debt solutions for your mother

You can get a headstart by taking a look at the different debt solutions which may be recommended to your mother by the debt help adviser. 

We have created a comprehensive debt solutions page that provides a full explanation and examples of the different ways to get out of debt. Read it with your mum to boost her confidence that she will get out of debt in the future. 

Could you legally write off some debt?

Answer below to get started.

How much debt do you have?

This isn’t a full fact find. MoneyNerd doesn’t give advice. We work with The Debt Advice Service who provide information about your options.

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The authors
Scott Nelson Profile Picture
Author
MoneyNerd’s founder, Scott Nelson, has a decade of financial industry experience, including 6 years in FCA regulated loan and credit card companies. Troubled by a lack of conscience in the industry, he founded MoneyNerd to give genuine advice to those in debt and struggling financially.
Janine Marsh Profile Picture
Debt Expert
Janine Marsh is an award-winning presenter and a valuable member of the MoneyNerd team. With a wealth of experience as a financial expert, she's been featured on BBC Radio 4, BBC Local Radio, and BBC Five Live, and is a regular on Co-op Radio.