Should I Help my Spouse with Debt? 

Is your wife in debt, and you’re not sure what to do? Don’t worry; this guide is here to help. Every month, over 170,000 people visit our website for advice on dealing with debt, so you’re not alone in this.

In this helpful guide, we’ll cover:

• How debt can harm a marriage.
• If you are responsible for your spouse’s debt.
• Ways to spot if your spouse has a debt problem.
• The different types of debt.
• How to help your spouse manage their debt.

We understand that debt can be a big worry. Maybe you’re scared about what could happen or feeling unsure about the best way to help. Our team has been there too, so we know how hard it can be when someone you love is in debt.

Let us guide you through this tough time and help you understand your options to make the best choices for you and your spouse.

Are you responsible for the debts of your spouse?

You are not legally responsible for anybody else’s debt, including your spouse’s debts.

It means you are never forced to pay off your husband or wife’s debt.

You are only accountable to repay debts that you have agreed to, including personal debts, joint debts or when acting as a guarantor on a loan. 

How to spot your spouse has a debt problem

You may be able to spot changes in your spouse’s behaviour that could mean they have money worries and debts.

Financial infidelity can cause more issues than having an affair.

Some behaviours that may be an indication of money problems are:

1. Receiving lots of calls or text messages that change their mood
2. Receiving more letters than normal, and not opening these letters in front of you
3. Acting withdrawn or showing signs of anxiety and depression 
4. Avoiding talking about finances and quickly changing the conversation to something else
5. Trying to spend less money than normal

The above does not mean they definitely have a debt problem, so how can you know for sure?

How to ask your spouse if they have debts

You should first encourage your spouse to tell you about their debts rather than asking them directly.

You could do this by sitting down and asking them if something is wrong. Tell them you are concerned and why you think there might be a problem.

They may use the opportunity to tell you about a debt, and if not, you could gently ask them if they have any money worries. 

Do not try and find out about debts by looking through their phone or opening their letters.

This could cause distrust and they could withdraw from telling you any more details about the debt.

Legal consequences of ignoring debt

The legal consequences of ignoring debt could lead to court action.

A County Court Judgement (CCJ) could be registered against you. It would ruin your credit history.

Enforcement agents (bailiffs) could seize possessions to recover the amount owed. Or an attachment on earnings could be issued. An employer deducts an amount from your wages.

Should I help my husband pay off his debt?

Although you are not legally responsible to pay your spouse’s debt, you will probably want to help them get out of debt.

You could do this by providing them with the money to clear the debt, which is a personal decision, but there are other ways to help them out of debt that do not involve giving them money. 

Marital financial planning could be the first thing to consider.

Read on to learn the different ways to help your spouse get out of debt without paying the debt off for them. 

What do you do when your husband is in debt?

If your spouse is in debt, there are lots of ways to help them aside from paying off their debt for them – if even possible.

The most important steps to take include considering the impact of debt on mental health.

Provide them with emotional support

The Royal College of Psychiatrists found a two-way relationship between debts and poor mental health.

Debts can cause serious mental health problems and mental health can also create debts.

The data suggests that 50% of people with debts suffer from poor mental health, and 25% of people who have ongoing mental health issues get into debt.

Poor mental health could include things like:

• Depression
• Anxiety
• Suicide

It is important to provide your spouse with confidential and ongoing emotional support throughout their get-out-of-debt journey.

Is wife paying debts a good idea?

I suggest, you listen to a spouse’s concerns, and be encouraging and positive that they will eventually get out of their debt.

You might also need to reassure them that you still love them. 

Make a household budget

A practical way to tackle your spouse’s debts together is to make a monthly household budget.

This will help you find ways to cut back each month and pay more towards the debt.

It will also come in useful when speaking with a debt charity and considering debt solutions, which is your next move together. 

Put them in touch with a debt charity

Encourage your spouse to call a debt charity to receive confidential debt support.

There are a number of charities that offer this service for free.

The purpose of the call is to understand your financial situation and level of debt to advise on the best debt solution for your needs. 

Some debt solutions can even be organised and set up via the charity, so you and your spouse won’t need to negotiate with creditors. 

Case study: partner has debts

I’ve included a message posted on a popular forum by a concerned person.

Source: Moneysavingexpert

Debt Management and Consolidation Options

There are various debt management and consolidation options worth considering.

However, I suggest you seek debt advice from an expert before choosing one.

That said, I’ve listed some here:

• Debt relief orders (DROs)
• Individual voluntary arrangements (IVAs)
• Debt management plans (DMP)
• Bankruptcy

A debt repayment strategy must be carefully considered. Preferably with the help of a debt expert.

» TAKE ACTION NOW: Fill out the short debt form

What is a DRO and how does it work?

A DRO is a debt solution that helps you deal with personal debts you can’t afford to pay.

You must apply for a DRO through an approved adviser. Plus, there are specific criteria that must be met.

DROs typically last for 12 months. If you’re eligible, you won’t have to pay anything towards debts (and interest) if they’re listed in a DRO.

Thousands have already tackled their debt

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What is an IVA and how does it work?

An IVA is a legally binding formal arrangement between debtors and creditors.

You agree to pay back debts over time. It’s a court-approved arrangement, therefore creditors must abide by it.

What is a DMP?

A DMP agreement is an informal debt solution between creditors and debts.

You pay back non-priority debts in one monthly payment that’s divided between creditors.

Most of these debt solutions are managed by DMP providers who deal with creditors on your behalf.

What is bankruptcy?

Declaring bankruptcy allows debtors to start afresh when they can’t repay the money owed.

Debts must amount to over £5,000 to qualify for bankruptcy.

However, this route should only be considered as a last resort as the ramifications are considerable.

Plus, the effects of bankruptcy on credit scores should not be overlooked.